website statistics Sprizee :: A simple girl replete with complications: June 2004

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Vancouver, BC

I need to get the fuck out of the US of A this weekend. In honor of 'merika's birthday, I'm going to Canada. This is one of the best ideas I've had in a really, really long time. So good that celebrating the 4th in Canada may, just may, become an annual event.

What's my point? I don't really have one, but if you know any good places in Vancouver that are not to be missed I need to know about them, like NOW. So go on, tell me where I should go. I'm anxiously awaiting your suggestions.

80s Fray

Yesterday I wore a new skirt. A skirt that I bought a couple weeks ago in downtown when I went shopping because I was too drunk to drive home after visiting Von's with some coworkers, a skirt that I realized was too long for me two days ago when I tried it on at home, a skirt that although I was not then drunk decided instead of returning I would shorten with only a pair of scissor and no needle or thread, a skirt that despite the fact that it ends with fraying and raw edges and nothing else looks pretty kick ass. Man, I love that the 80s are back!

And ever since I attacked my new skirt a couple nights ago, my scissors can't stop yammering on and on about what a great team we'd make. Asking me for old sweatshirts and t-shirts, saying that when she's done taking it out on that sweater or this sweatshirt, Tootie's gonna be so jealous and Rickie Schroder's gonna wanna be my steady. And all I can think is gag me with a spoon.

Like totally.

P.S. I finally caved in and joined the darkside (and by darkside I mean ProClub). That's right. I'm officially a total yuppie sell out. Now the only thing that's missing is a SUV and becoming a Republican. Sure I say NEVER now, but I use to say that about THE CLUB. Dunt-dunt-daaaaaa!

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Think Pink!

Growing up my mom was always buying me pink clothes. Being a typical kid I hated almost any article of clothing my mom picked out for me, but especially anything pink. I remember one item of clothing particularly well, a pink corduroy skirt overall outfit. I hated this outfit so much that I made a point of telling my mom she was forbidden from buying me anything else in the realm of pinkness which included red and purple. Anyways, looking back now it’s odd because if I look at the last 10 things I've purchased clothing-wise I'd say the majority are PINK! And to be honest, I have to say right now my favorite color is PINK! I love PINK! If pink was a guy I would totally ask him to marry me. Simply put, I can't get enough PINK!

Clothing items I own that are pink:

  • Light pink capri pants (What the hell was I thinking? And yet I can’t stop wearing them. Man, I’m a dork.)

  • Light pink and black a-line skirt with flowers (Retroville baby. All the way!)

  • Light pink chunky cotton sweater (The comfiest damn sweater EVER.)

  • Hot pink cardigan sweater

  • Pink corduroy a-line skirt (Interesting side note: I hated corduroy as a kid as well. I’m still a little wary of it.)

  • Pink and cream toille a-line skirt

  • Various flower pins in various shades of pink


I'm sure there are more but a) I'm getting bored with listing them b) you don't really care anyways and c) I believe I've made my point.

Actually the more that I think about it maybe I love pink so much now because I hated it that much way back when because I also couldn't stand turtleneck sweaters and now every fall I get giddy when it's time to pull out the turtleneck sweaters and start cycling them through my wardrobe in heavy rotation.

P.S. I'm wearing a HOT PINK cardigan right now. Gawd, I'm such a girl.

P.P.S. Yup, I've got a pink turtleneck sweater as well.

P.P.P.S. Nope, I don't have a pink corduroy sweater. Well not yet anyways.

P.P.P.S. Let's call this my Totally Out There Tuesday post even though I completely forgot about wanting to do that until after I posted this. Oops! Next week, next week.

Monday, June 28, 2004

Believe it or not

I've got nothing but love for you people. Enjoy!

That's right. I'm risking fines and imprisionment, sacrificing my freedom and reputation, just to spread the joy. C'mon, admit it. You watched that show too and loved every minute of it just as much as I did.

What? You don't know what I'm talking about??? Greatest American Hero? Here's a quick recap of the coolest/crappiest TV show ever: Ralph Hinkley was minding his own business, when his car mysteriously drove itself out into the desert. A startled Ralph was soon visited by aliens, who had decided to endow him with superhuman powers to fight the battle against injustice and crime. To this end, they gave him a special suit and an instruction manual. Unfortunately, Ralph manages to lose the instruction manual, and the aliens have a nasty habit of never being around when you need them.

You're welcome.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Closed Mondays

Saturday afternoon I treated my parents to a live taping of Prarie Home Companion at Marymoor Park in Redmond. Then just to balance things out I went downtown to see F9/11. I'm suprised to admit that I enjoyed Bowling for Columbine more than Moore's latest offering.

In other news, I have this sudden urge to run out to the store and find me a shirt which reads "Closed Mondays".

By the way, what are you doing here? Don't you realize you could be reading much, much more amusing stuff like this? Well, what are you waiting for? Go.

P.S. This post is going nowhere fast. Goodbye.

Do over! Do over!

Do you ever wish life was a game of four square, in which you can't agree if the ball just landed on the line or out of bounds, so you call a redo?

Yea, me too.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

I'll tell you in another life when we both are cats

Songs that make me want to crawl under the covers, curl up in a ball and cry my heart out:

The Cure's "Friday I'm in love", "Just Like Heaven", "Pictures of You" and "Lovesong"

Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill" and anything else off the Vanilla Sky soundtrack

The entire album of Sting's Ten Summoner's Tales

Elton John's "I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues"

Coldplay's "Warning Sign"

Diana Krall's "I'm Thru With Love"

Songs that remind me I should stop dwelling on my misery and start moving on already:

Modest Mouse's "Float On"

Franz Ferdinand's "Come On Home"

The Clash's "Should I Stay Or Should I Go"

Coldplay's "Everythings Not Lost"

Oh, who am I kidding? ALL those songs make me want to crawl under the covers and cry. Some days are just like that I suppose.

Note to self: I've got bad news for you. You need to permanently remove all Coldplay tracks from iTunes. Sitting at work and suddently becoming all teary, runny nosed and red faced simply isn't going to work. Ever.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Things that are guaranteed to make me giggle

(and that will most likely leave you scratching your head wondering why):

Asking Jason if he thinks I should dye my hair back to the original color, him responding with, "No, you should dye it bright red", me replying with, "No, you should do that" and then hearing him respond with, "I don't want to be that fat guy".

Asking me how to spell something. I always have to fight the urge to shout out F7, because honestly, that's the only way I can properly spell anything...well, that or with the aid of dictionary.com. And yes, I can bearly do math without a computer. Long division? Don't even go there. That's what machines are for! God Bless 'Merka!

Uttering the phrase, "Boooyaaaaa!". Second only, of course, to someone screaming, "Khaaaaan!".

Saying absolutely anything to me after I've had a sip of wine. No matter what you said, I'll find something intriguing and amusing in it -- humorous and charming. It can't be helped. That wine goes straight to my head EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Referring to me by my work title. I'm no snob but that's the title they gave me. Given the choice, I would have picked "VP of BS" but there were already five other people at my company occupying that position so it probably wouldn't have worked out anyways.

Nose, grindstone. Grindstone, nose.

I've got tons of topics that I could amuse myself ranting about however in doing so I would only be distracting myself from all the tasks that are on deadline today and can no longer be ignored. And as much as I love procrastinating I know today my tasks must actually be completed (and not just started as I'm so fond of doing); the least of which is reporting the fresh dent on my beautiful Passat's bumper caused by someone in an SUV backing into my car WHILE IT WAS PARKED. But I digress...without further ado I believe introductions are in order. Nose, grindstone. Grindstone, nose.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Kindness is golden

I'm not the first to say this and I certainly won't be the last but the older I get the more I appreciate the wisdom of others. If there's one thing I've realized as I've aged, it's that the older I get, the less I know. Don't get me wrong, I don't long for the certainity of youth any more because I realize now the fearless attitude that I could do no wrong and knew better than most was built on a rock solid foundation of my own ignorance. But I do long for the words and wit of others to confirm my feelings and help me express the importance of what really matters in life. Today this quote is speaking to me like no other.

"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."

I solidly believe that if you focus on the first, you won't have to worry about the second. Be a true friend and you'll always find yourself surrounded with love and hope. And luckily for me sometimes even when you are reckless with someone's heart, love still finds its way back to you. I know that I've got more love and friendship and hope tham I honestly deserve, but I'll take it. Sure, I'm still secretly hoping for Ctrl Z functionality in my life, but until then I guess I'll just have to learn from my mistakes and be thankful for the forgiveness of others. Note to self: Be kind to others and stop fucking up so royally.

And on a lighter note, if you'd rather just read a comical spoof of this and the rest of the "Kurt Vonnegut Commencement Address", go here.

Monday, June 21, 2004

The hardest button to button

Who's the idiot who decided the cd eject button on a computer box should be BELOW the drawer? Sure that's fine when you're opening it, but when you're closing it you have to reach around the drawer to get to the button. Why the fuck hasn't anyone changed the design? I mean, seriously, how difficult would it be to move the damn button up one inch? I'm sure the designers are worried that I, the American public, will no longer be able to find the damn button if they move it one whole inch, but trust me on this one, no one will die if they can't find the button and if they do they deserve to anyways. I mean, really...c'mon people! This is 'merka and in 'merka we gotta get things done and having to reach around to get to the button just isn't doin' it for me anymore. And since I'm just a lazy 'merikan I need help so help me out and move the damn button ABOVE the CD drawer on my computer box and no one gets hurt, okay?

Friday, June 18, 2004

And God created Ctrl Z functionality and it was good.

A word to the less than wise (and yes, that most certainly includes me). Do not check your email while intoxicated. More importantly, do not reply to your email while intoxicated.

And when you do reply (which is bound to happen since all your filters have been disengaged by all the alcohol you've just consumed) 1) destroy all evidence of the reply, 2)deny to it to those involved and 3)find faithful friends to back up your soon-to-be blatantly false alibi of not having the opporunity nor the inclination to send such an email. From little 'ol me?

Life should come with Ctrl Z functionality. Seriously God, if I had that power I wouldn't abuse it by doing things like organizing world peace or stopping atrocities. I'd only use it for frivolous things like going back in time to stop drunken email sending or drunken cell phone calling or other drunken activities that I normally wouldn't be engaged in had alcohol not been involved. Honest! So what do you say big guy? I'm game if you are.

Oh, and what the heck? Since I'm asking for stuff from you, and seeing as how it's been so long since you've given me any sort of sign in response to any of the many MANY questions I've been pondering lately, how's about some free cable? You know, so I can watch more of this. Peace out big G.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Fremont Solstice Parade!



Reasons you should go:

You'll be guaranteed to see naked people riding bicycles.

What? You need another reason? Why you gotta be like that?

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

The connection to the Micosoft Exchange Server has been lost. Sweet!

Dear Network Admin,

You're the best! Seriously! I love it when I don't have access to my work email because, after all, who saves work related stuff in their work email account anyways? Scrambling around trying to view and move information out of Outlook before it crashes once again is the kind of stuff that I live for! Also, if we could repeat that one day a couple months ago when all of our applications were inaccesible for over 8 hours that would be amazing. One day just wasn't enough for me. Being at your mercy while desperately waiting all day long for you to restore our computer system totally ruled! Now, if only you could also try and make sure the website goes down a little bit more frequently than once a week? I know that's a lot to ask, you being so busy making sure all our other systems are unstable and crash conistently, but I wouldn't be asking unless I knew you could do it. I believe! So, step it up Mister! Because if there's one thing you've taught me, it's that you should only give people a little bit less than what they actually need because when you do finally give them the full amount of what they need, they'll be singing and dancing your praises left and right. Let's hear it for mediocrity at its finest! Whoo-hoo!

P.S. Turn off those lights, stop talking so loud and go get me a cheeseburger.

P.P.S. I kid. I kid. The Network Admin is cool, just overwhelmed with work.

Adoringly Yours,
Sprizee

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Pieces of conversations I'd had with other people in the last few weeks...

or overheard someone say or heard in a presentation (Oh, and in case I didn't mention this before now, these are all going to be completely random and possibly even out of context):

During a presenation the VP of Sales at my company (which shall remain nameless) said the following: "Our feets is in it." Brillant! We should start using that as our tagline. But of course we'd also need to change all our phones to ring (or should I say whistle) to the tune of Dixie. You know, just like the General Lee on Duke's of Hazard. Man, they just don't make quality TV like they use to. That's genius. Pure genius!

Me: "I completely forgot to eat lunch today."
Misty (in disbelief): "Really??? I'm always thinking about my next meal."

Me: "Correction. It was an unofficial Paddlewacker award."

Boss at my company (which shall remain nameless. Are you catching on yet?) said the following to me after telling me he didn't want to give me any details but I know he's going to totally knit pick every single last God Damn detail once he sees the final project: [Blah, blah, blah...talking in general terms. Some bull shit about how we should do it right, do it correctly and do it correctly right now. What the hell does that mean anyways?]..."To me it's a no brainer." Yes, to you it's a no brainer but that's because you live inside of that no brain head of yours. I have no idea what the fuck is going on inside there so help me out and offer up at least a few details already!

Tom at my company (that's right, which shall remain nameless): "Dibs on a one of those dolls." In Tom's defense, the dolls were pretty kick ass and some might even argue the most masculine doll ever invented. I may just have to run out and get one for my husband.

Monday, June 14, 2004

I'm no angel

Dido, you couldn't have said it any better.

And now, on a completely unrelated note, a quick weekend recap:

Spent Saturday visiting the folks on the other side of the water. Sunday was filled with ferry riding, downtown waterfront pier walking, laughing and pointing at people waiting to board a cruise ship, drinking Cosmopolitians, sampling the Mac 'n Cheese at The Blue Onion Bistro with Rachel and the rest of the gang and later that evening a birthday get together for Amie up at Elysian Brewing Company and Public House on Capitol Hill.

I'll just keep right on pretending you care about all the mundane details of my life. Deep down inside you really do care, right? Who's with me on this one? Unemployed guy who's never met me and doesn't know what to do with his life or why the hell he's reading this, you're with me right? That's what I'll keep telling myself. You don't want to be responsible for changing my mind on this one, trust me.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Insatiable

I want to be kissed passionately. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to cry big salty tears. I want you to leave me alone. I want to listen to the same song over and over again. I want to fuck incessantly. I want a chocolate milkshake. I want to go for a run. I don't want to deal with the world, my job or life in general. I want to be held down. I want to punch you. I want you to let me go. I want you to fight for me. I want to live my life. I want to know you care. I want you to hear me. I don't want to have to say a word. I want to run away. I want to stay right here. I want to go back in time and do it all over again. I want to howl. I don't want to think about that right now.

Friday, June 11, 2004

I (no) heart traffic.

All I can think about is soon I will be leaving the office and this will inevitably lead to me sitting on 520 in traffic - parking lot style, slow moving, frustration city traffic. I fucking hate traffic. STUPID. FUCKING. TRAFFIC.

Things I'd rather do besides sit in traffic:

Run (I went running at 5:20 thinking when I got back at 6:20 the traffic would be gone. No such luck.)

Work (By work, I mean sit in front of my computer and write personal email to my friends.)

Be forced to write without the use of parenthesis. (One, have you noticed how much I use parenthesis, and two I don't think that's physically possible. I might just spontaneously combust or something if I am forbidden from using the lovely and amazing (and not to mention versitile!) parenthesis.)

Have my heart broken (I take that one back. Maybe traffic isn't so bad after all.)

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

And I'm going to totally kick ass at Jeopardy tonight. I can just feel it.

And by kick ass I mean shout answers louder (and perhaps quicker but probably mostly just louder) in the general direction of the TV. 90210! Ben Afleck and Jennifer Lopez! WWII! Ha! IN. YOUR. FACE.

And by shout answers I don't necessarily mean the correct answer but to make up for that one tiny, little flaw I'll make sure to make them really, really loud "answers".

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Fact and Friction

Things have been very confusing lately. I've hurt people that don't deserve it. I've lost sleep over things I've done. I've felt ripples of guilt, joy, exhaustion, pain, love and hate frequently and often.

I'm not sure exactly where I got so far off the right path to end up here, but here definitely isn't where I ever planned on being.

It's time I started being clearer about things.

I love my husband and I need him to know how much admire him for being so understanding, so unconditionally loving and for NEVER EVER letting me doubt his love for me.

He should totally get to be president (I'd vote for him) or at the very least get some sort of medal for all the crap he has to put up with including but not limited to the following:

My mood swings

Attempting to understand or at least not be completely annoyed by my fickleness

Constantly reminding me to keep my job in perspective

Helping me silk screen shirts that I never should have been silkscreening in the first place this weekend

Picking up after me like the "best damn maid service ever"

Visiting my crazy family with me on occasion

Watching one episode of Dawson's Creek with me and not leaving the room in complete disgust

Not giving me a lecture every time I come home with another bag of clothes that I don't need especially when half the clothes I own are lying on the floor of our "office" (HEY, can I help it if all my clothes no longer fit in my closet anymore? I guess I could stop buying more god damn clothes.) SEE? That is why my husband is so great!


Monday, June 07, 2004

Things that will annoy me to no end (today):

Try to smell my face before I finish washing it. Yes I understand my face has a lovely smell after it's washed like sunshine and rainbows and fresh flowers all rolled into one glorious scent but hello? I'm trying to work here.

Not know where I put my Adidas running shoes, my black leather belt or my Banana Republic Khakis (No, not those khakis. Yes I know those are Banana Republic too but those aren't the ones I'm looking for.) I mean honestly somebody needs to keep track of my stuff. Lord knows I'm no good at it.

Decide to go looking for an obscure audio tape that's buried somewhere deep in the storage unit even though you know that means you'll have to move everything out and I'll have to assist you and we'll both end up at the bottom of a big pile of junk. Junk that I don't even want to think about what to do with right now. Thanks A LOT!

Insist that I order company logoed shirts from India because we can get a great price. Sure the company got a great price but my shirt is five sizes too big for me and makes me look like I'm seven and decided it would be a good idea to wear my dad's shirt to school today. The only way I'm going to look semi-presentable in this tent will be through the creative use of fabric origami and LOTS of safety pins. Look Buddy, I'm the Marketing Executive, so next time I'll be ordering from Lands End where the sizes are consistent, thank you very much!


Saturday, June 05, 2004

I dreamt music

The hottest scene EVER has to be the one between Harrision Ford and Sean Young in Bladerunner. You know, when she rushes to the door to leave and he follows behind her smashing the door shut in a fervor. It's just so torrid and intensely passionate. Young Harrision Ford, I'm yours for the taking.

Old Harrision Ford, however, I'm going to have to ask you to step off. That's right. You heard me correctly. STEP. OFF.

Somewhere Only Me Know

I know, I know. MT is much better but it's been nearly three years since I've been talking about setting this up so I thought instead of procrastinating any longer, I'd at least start with this.