website statistics Sprizee :: A simple girl replete with complications: September 2004

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Sugar coated memories

I was just pondering the fact that Tim Burton will soon be coming out with a new version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again. I know it goes without saying but I feel compelled to say it anyways... Big Fish? You stunk. Go to hell. [holds nose in disgust] Pee-yew.

Anyways, where was I? Oh yes, Mr. Wonka and his crazy antics which reminds me of two random and semi-related things:

Item 1:

I was recently at a party or out to dinner or something (I can't recall when or where currently) talking to someone (or overhearing someone else talk) and the person (who's face I can't recall at this particular moment in time) was talking about how f'd up the Wonkavator scenes were in the original version.

He mentioned that if you hadn't seen the movie recently, you should consider renting it and slow playing the Wonkavator scene because there's all kinds of crazy stuff that shouldn't be in a movie aimed at kids like chickens being decapitated and nazis marching around. I haven't seen that movie recently but both of those things sound familiar, like my subconscious sponged up the oddness even though I wasn't really paying attention.

Item 2:

I can remember going to the video store on a Friday night with my parents and my friend Amy when I was in third grade and picking out Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. We also each picked out a candy bar which my parents promptly purchased and then held onto saying we could enjoy the candy when we got back to the house. Upon arriving back at the house however my parents decided to hide the candy, explaining that we could go hunting for our sugary goodness only once we got to the part in the movie in which the kids first step into the factory.

I don't recall what kind of candy I had picked out, or what Amy had picked out or who found their candy first. But what I do remember is the anticipation of the game and the fun we had running around acting like fools hunting for our candy... and thinking how much fun my parents could be.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

To the person who called me

15 minutes ago and then promptly hung up:

Umm, you called my direct line? Do I know you? I think I do.

Fess up. I know it was you.

About last night


I swear there were other people in the bar of El Camino when I was there. Just no one at the bar.


Didn't get home until 1am just in time to catch Keane on Conan but by that point I was too tired to bother turning on the TV so I missed it. There may or may not have been drinking involved. And not that I have any first hand knowledge to this fact but I've heard the house margarita with salt is to die for, not that I would know of course.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

I've got a crush

I think it's fair to say I'm coveting the new iMac G5 so fiercely, I alone may be responsible for the soon to be inevitable re-eruption of Mt. St. Helen’s.

Monday, September 27, 2004

@AIDS Walk 2004 on Sunday

Not that this directly relates to the cause but... word.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

EndFest


Only $10.77 for a ticket. Hell, Franz alone is more than worth price of admission. Should be fun.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Taking my girlyness to new heights

This just in.

I IM’d the new guy at work and when he didn’t respond I walked over to his desk. I guess the only reason he didn’t respond was because he was away from his desk. So what you say? Don't you even want to know why I IM'd him? C'mon, play along. Because there was a huge insect in my office. I made him follow me back to my desk and evict the giant bug from hell that was crawling up my window blind cord. No joke.

I’m such a girl.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

U2's Vertigo

Just heard U2's Vertigo (thanks Internet!) and I love it, love it, love it!

You can listen to it here (or here or here or here).

Have I told you lately how much I love you Internet?

Well I do. I totally do.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Things I pondered on the way into work this morning:

  • What the hell could the following license plate holder possibly mean?
    Top: [picture a row of hearts]
    Bottom: Strawberries 4Ever
    I almost got out my camera because I was so baffled by the thing but then I realized… not worth it.
    Okay, moving on.

  • The Fed Government is STILL suing big, bad, evil tobacco for the deaths of people that knew full well that smoking cigarettes was not good for them and had full knowledge that it might possibly kill them. Now I realize that in the past big, bad, evil tobacco did some pretty shady things to keep people coming back for me but at what point do we say enough is enough and people begin taking personal responsibility for their actions? You’re only young once but you can be immature forever. Time to grow up ‘murka.

  • When the traffic reporter on NPR reported the traffic on 520 was a good backup, did she realize what she just said was an oxymoron? Trust me. No such thing as a good backup, of course, unless you’re a tow truck driver.

  • Cowboy Junkies were featured on NPR this morning and it made me realize why I love their songs so much. The lyrics are so sad they make you want to turn off the radio but the song/melody is so sweet, that you can’t. What can I say? I’m a sucker for the bittersweet.

  • Am I getting sick again? Why does my head hurt? Is my throat sore? I think my throat is sore. I’m definitely getting sick again. [sigh]

  • I should call my Mom/Aunt/Dad/all-the-friends-I’ve-been-meaning-to-catch-up-with-that-I-haven’t today/tonight

  • Traffic sucks. I wonder if I’m going to be late for the meeting that starts at 8:30AM. Yep, I’m so going to be late. No question about it. [45 minutes later at 8:20AM] I knew I’d have plenty of time to get here. Where’s everyone else? Stuck in traffic? They need to learn to leave a little earlier.

  • I still haven’t made a doctor’s appointment. Guess now that’ll have to wait until I get back from Europe.

  • Crap! I’m leaving for Europe in less than 3 weeks and I feel so unprepared. Kick in panic mode.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Oooooo, I'm telling

Things that are can be definitively categorized as NOT WORKING that make me feel like I’m working even though clearly I AM NOT:

  • Downloading photos from my camera

  • Sending photos to friends

  • Emailing my friends and/or reading their emails

  • Uploading photos to ofoto.com

  • Making a doctor’s/dental/hair appointment

  • Playing poker with coworkers in the middle of the day after lunch (during counts but, let’s face it... it’s never during)

  • Instant messenging friends/family/random people

  • Posting rants about nothing and everything on my website

  • Mocking up designs for my personal website that in all honesty will probably never, ever be launched

  • Creating PowerPoint Templates (Oh wait, I do get paid for that. No wonder I'm getting nowhere fast. You have no idea how frustrating designing a PPT can be!)

Anyway, the point is The Man would not be pleased if he knew how much time I spent at my desk on a daily basis not working.

Shhh, I won’t tell him if you don’t.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Last week was one crazy one

Crazy I tell you.

Okay, Monday was completely uneventful but the rest of the week was a mess. Don't even get me started.

Tuesday started out normal but then for some mysterious reason after the weekly poker tournament with some coworkers and lots of mundate work, traffic turned from the normal bad to terrible bad and then to even worse all wrapped in one tidy little package of people sitting in their car not going anywhere (which is pretty damn horrible, let me tell you). It was so bad that before 5 o'clock traffic was backed up in front of my office IN BOTH DIRECTIONS on the road. So bad in fact that it was clear to even drive those 3 blocks to ProClub in the rain was going to take at least 20 minutes. Fuck me.

Talk about lame. Normally I would have just put on my running clothes and ran my butt over to the Club but perhaps I didn't mention this before... it was RAINING. A LOT. And since I was still busy denying the fact that fall was indeed here, I hadn't put a sweatshirt in my gym bag. Plus, I realized by the time I would have been done at ProClub the sun would have been long gone and I didn't really like the idea of running back to my office to get in my car in the freaking dark. No thanks. I've seen enough Lifetime movies to know that is simply NOT something a girl should be doing.

Anyways, the point is traffic was horrible and I couldn't even just go to the gym to avoid it and maintain my sanity like I normally do. Enter my coworker who decides she really wants to carpool back to Seattle and, apparently, I am the magically element that will allow her to drive in the carpool lane on 520. Not because I am the second passenger in the car but because I will be the THIRD. You see, because traffic is normally so f’d up on 520 that in the carpool lane you have to have AT LEAST THREE people. Yes, folks. My commute really REALLY sucks.

So anywho, I ended up leaving my car at work and catching a ride home with my coworker. In the end it all worked out because she ended up chauffeuring me all around town. Wednesday we were in downtown for a Microsoft event all day at the Seattle Hilton (and free wine all night. Thanks Microsoft!). Then Thursday morning was spent in downtown Seattle at another hotel a couple blocks from the Hilton hosting a prospect event. Friday was United Way of King County’s Day of Caring.

In theory, Day of Caring is a day when companies across the state allow their employees to spend a whole day out of the office, volunteering their time to those that are less fortunate. Normally this involves some sort of group activity to help those that need help the most, or in my company’s case, a group activity involving painting the interior of some rich people’s house (okay so at one point in their life they had some foster kids but even so that's not a free pass to take charity that isn't needed or required) that don’t need any help or money for that matter and just to add insult to our injury flaunt that they own a huge mansion of a house, a private tennis court and a well maintained garden (which I’m sure is not tended by the woman of the house seeing as how she had lovely manicured nails and absolutely no calluses).

Can you tell I’m more than a little bitter? Oh yea, well you would be too.

And on that note I wish you a Happy Monday. Boo-fucking-hoo.

Friday, September 17, 2004

Flashing


I'll be away from the office again all day today participating in United Way of King County's Day of Caring. In my absence here's a photo to keep you amused (for approximately 2 seconds) that I took 2 days ago while riding the elevator at the Seattle Hilton in downtown. More to follow. (Damn flash)

Thursday, September 16, 2004

I'm a Marketing Genius

...but you don't have to take my word for it.

I’m very proud of what my clients have to say about the marketing services I provide.

"She's a total marketing wizard people. One time, when I was trying to sell that left over drum of radioactive waste from my power plant. Well the EPA was all up in my shit about it being at the bottom of that lake, something about school children and a four million year half life... Well anyway, she found four bidders willing to pay six figures!!! Now THAT is the kind of marketing I want on my team."

-Murphy

True dat. True dat.

Oh, also. I've got a headache I can't shake. And the cold is coming back. And also I need some drugs... we're talking the hard stuff, like Nyquil (and... now keep in mind I'm just thinking out loud here, how about... mixed with a couple glasses of wine?) And a nice long nap. And also perhaps a helicopter to pick me up so I don't have to deal with traffic today. Please God not again today. I dealt with traffic like two days ago and she totally had her way with me and SPIT. ME. OUT.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

9/11 Mariner's Game


I entered Safeco Field about 5 minutes before the game started. If I had been thinking (and also if I hadn't have taken that nap at 5:30) I would have made a point to get to the game a little sooner, what with it being 9/11 and all but what can I say? I spaced.

Anyway, the point is I got there just before the game started and then I took this photo. Right after that, they announced the moment of silence, so I took off my hat, and stood there silently while listening to all of these bozos around me talking on their cells or yelling at their friends or screaming at their kids to pass the peanuts or for god knows what else that apparently couldn't wait those 20 seconds of silence.

I wanted to scream just shut the fuck up already. And then I realized I guess that's what makes America great... freedom. Even if some people are using their freedom to be idiots, that's just fine by me. Unless your name is GW. And if that's the case, that's NOT fine with me and I'll be voting your ass out of office in November. God Bless America!


Here's the view from my seat up on the 3rd tier.


Here's the deal. See the wife? She's holding the nachos. Right before I took this picture, the guy was holding the nachos... and eating them with a FORK. But, of course, as soon went for the money shot he handed the nachos off to his wife and picked up his camera.

Sidenote: Never saw the camera out of his hand for the rest of the entire evening.


This is me leaving.

Normally I make it a point never to leave the game early, however, this game was horrible and the M's were down at least 8 runs (to 0) by the top of the 7th inning. Sure, they've been known to come back from worse but a) I could feel a cold coming on b) the Krispy Kreme shop by my car was calling my name and c) I didn't feel like sitting in traffic for an hour when I was only going 3 miles. Afterall, I think I sit in traffic more than enough M-F, 9-5. Thank you very much.

What not to do when cold calling

I just got a call from my office's receptionist saying "I've got the guy who you had on hold on the line. He says he was disconnected".

1) If you were disconnected maybe it wasn't an accident 2) If it was an accident, I would have already called you back and 3) Nice try buddy. Haven't talk to anyone on the phone this morning.

You dufus. Our receptionist isn't much of gatekeeper. If you knew my name, you should have just asked for me. But because you gave her some bogus story about having been on hold already, you're not getting through. Next.

Don't try this at home kids.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Irrefutable photographic evidence that bigger is indeed better

Photos as promised here.


Where I work and IM friends/ strangers/ people-that-are-also-trying-to-avoid-work. By work, clearly, I mean procrastinate.


Before: The 17"



After: The 20"

Disclaimer: The scientist in me wants to smack the artsy fartsy part of me that a) took these photos at crappy angles and b) wasn't consistent with the framing. But the scientist part of me is so weaky and gangley and stutters so damn much that I got impatient waiting for a better suggestion, told her to shut up and left the room.

P.S. I am so kicking myself for not taking a photo of the bottles and bottles of Corona that were on ice in the reception area on Friday. After a mug full of wine, clearly, my priorities were completely out of order. I apologize.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Got me a cold


I'm sick. And while several people could be responsible for passing along their cold to me, I'm blaming Birdherder.

Pass the Nyquil.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Can't stop now

So Tuesday night I saw Keane live in concert. I know I've already mentioned this in previous posts here and here but I'm not sure I did a good job capturing just how amazing the show was. Did I mention how amazing it was? Because it totally was. Totally amazing. In fact, it was so great that I demand to see more.

But here's the thing. They already played both Vancouver, BC and Portland, OR before the Seattle show so those aren't options. I figure the only logical options left are to either go to NYC(9/29) or DC(9/28) to stalk their sexy ass, I mean, catch the end of their tour before they head back to the UK.

Who's with me?

That, or maybe I'll just buy myself a Keane t-shirt. Yea, I'll probably just do that.

But if they're coming to your town you should totally go see them. And if you don't, don't tell me about it or I'll be forced to never speak to you again.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Common Knowledge...filled with crack

It's common knowledge these things, otherwise known in the biz* as strawberry shortcake, are filled with crack. I had 3, that's right THREE, on Labor Day at Bumbershoot. Not Labor Day weekend. Just on Labor Day. As in THREE IN ONE DAY. I suppose that makes me a crack whore.



And in other news, the event that I planned for my company today went off without a hitch and I'm now drinking wine at work. In my office. In front of a computer.

Anything could happen people.

*Huh? Biz? That must be the wine talking. [sigh]

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Making Ends Meat

When people refer to me as "special" or "unique" what they really are trying to say is "sprizee is retarded".

Case in point.

Growing up whenever I heard the phrase "making ends meet" I somehow had conjured up this idea in my head that "ends meat" referred to stuff that was left over from the butcher that no one else wanted and thus if someone was "making ends meat" that meant they couldn't afford anything better and were left with the stuff other people didn't want. What's even sadder is I didn't realize that was just my stupid confusion about things and that the phrase was actually "making ends meet" until I was well into my 20s.

Live and learn people.

Or in your case, live and laugh (at me).

Timewarped

Is it just me or is it messed up that people born in the year 1983 can now buy alcohol legally? Man, I remember when the 80s were barely gone. Now they’re 20 years away. I think that bears repeating. THE 80s ARE TWENTY YEARS AWAY!

Crap. I’m old.

Oh, and also this...

Bigger is better

I just found out I’ll soon be the proud owner of a 20" flat screen monitor (not be confused with flat panel*). It pays to whine to your Network Admin about having to scroll in Adobe and not being able to see all your palettes on the same screen… but it pays even more to suck up to your Network Admin. All those poker matches I threw for the sake of his ego are finally paying off folks.

You could learn a thing or two from me. Next time, take notes.

Before and after photos undoubtedly to follow. But I still have to wait for the guy that currently has the monitor to vamos. Just go already.

*No doubt, a 20" flat panel monitor would be even cooler than a 20" flat screen but my company’s profitable, not insane.

Re: Yahoo schmahoo

Regarding the September 2nd post,

Get busy Johnny. The virtual punch isn't going to build itself.

On second thought, this will only end up with Johnny swearing at his computer, handing it an unfair beat down for his inadequate attempts to finish this project and a lame project handover to Murphy (who will smack Johnny and deservedly so).

Birdherder? You better do it instead.

P.S. I, for one, hope Sturge NEVER EVER decides to act his age.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Still Keen on Keane


Keane at The Seattle Showbox. Props to Deron for this gem.

What did I do last night?

a) Went to the Showbox to watch Keane and ended up being introduced to another rawk'n band that opened the set, the French Kicks

b) Ended up buying a shirt with the following graphic on the front:


c) Pondered the meaning of the horsey picture at length (And also if it was in fact lame that I had opted to buy the shirt instead of their album)

d) Swooned over the lead singer of Keane after downing a CapeCod

e) Overheard someone refer to the lead singer of Keane as reminscent of "a young Bono"

f) Kicked myself repeatedly for not bringing my Keane album because after the show they signed them

g) Pouted at length because my camera battery died as soon as I went to take my first picture of the night

h) All of the above

Clearly this is a trick question. It's none of the above.

P.S. The Keane show kicked all kinds of ass last night. They're going places people. I predict they won't be playing small venues for much longer. Get it while you can. You heard it here first folks.


Copy Kitty


Driving to work. Blatantly ripping off Murphy.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

How'd you come up with Sprizee?

Prepare to be bored people. There is nothing particularly interesting and/or humorous about how I came up with the Sprizee. I had always (okay, since 6 years ago) planned on registering a domain name. And because I have an charming annoying tendency to dwell on the details, I had this reoccuring obsession with dreaming up different, unique domains that I might one day actually register.

At one point, I almost registered grumpyrobot.com but that was mostly because I used to work at a company that made me want to scream at the top of my lungs, pull all my hair out and shoot my manager. Sprizee.com was another domain name I had toyed with registering. Okay, that's very interesting and all Sprizee, but what the hell? You still haven't answered the question! I'm getting to that. Don't get your panties in a wad.

The origin of the word sprizee is due, in large part, to the dude... although for the record let me point out to the court that I decided on the spelling. Just think...if some other person had gotten their grubby little hands on it first, perhaps it would have just been sprizy and lord knows that's simply not as cool as sprizee.

So here's the deal. This old lady at the dude's church used to offer him Lifesavers™ when he was a kid... except she didn't call them Lifesavers™... instead she would say, "Would you like a sprizee?". I know. What the hell, right?

Well anyways, somehow the word got stuck in my head and so when I would mock up designs for projects I was working on, I ended up using Sprizee a lot because a) I got tired of using Latin b) Sprizee just looked cooler and c) No one could ever correct me on mis-spelling it since I created how to spell it.

Doing some more research (and I use that term loosely) I googled Sprizee and not a single thing came up. I had found a unique name that I could exploit at my leisure. I figured Sprizee was as good of a name as any to use. So basically after procrastinating for approximately 3 years and never getting around to creating a Moveable Type blog, I caved and turned to blogger.

I'm still just as lazy as ever. About two weeks ago I register sprizee.com but I still haven't bothered to a) put content on that site or b) simply redirect it to here. Oh well. At least I'm consistent.

Thanks for asking Murphy.

P.S. Going to see Keane tonight at the Showbox. They better not pull a Death Cab for Cutie and sound like crap live. Seriously, I won't be amused.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

That's right. Git'ter done.*


Welcome to the Evergreen State Fair where you can:


1) Pay $2 to a guy who almost has a full set of teeth and recieve a personality test.


2) Take in some chainsaw "art".


3) Watch yerself some pig racing.


4) Confirm that sneaking suspicion you've been having for years that you're going straight to hell. No ifs, ands or buts about it.


5) Throw your corndog stick away in a crazy clown's mouth.


6) Get yer picture taken with Alice Cooper and his snake.


7) See yerself some swine. Hey, I'd bite too if there had a sign above my head that read "great meat, flavor and texture"!


8) Gaze upon some purty banners.


and 9) See yerself a moo cow.


The end.

*Honest to gawd, this phrase was on a licenses plate holder at the fair. Then again, can I really be trusted? Afterall, its already been established I'm not going to heaven...


Saturday, September 04, 2004

Enough with the pink! already


Seriously, the pink thing has GOT TO STOP. Wait, it gets worse. How you ask?


The jacket was also pink.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Top 10 reasons EFo is cool dreamy

...in no particular order.

1) He speaks French.

2) He drives a Mini.

3) He owns a house in Seattle.

4) He has pretty blue eyes.



5) He looks good in goggles.



6) He loves his job.



7) He procrastinates and IMs with blazing speed.

8) He owns an iPod AND a Mac.

9) He runs and swims on a regular basis, or so I've been told.

and...drum roll please

10) He once (yesturday) told me and I quote, "No worries. I am raging dork too, so don't worry. I don't think we can offend each other with our dorkiness.*"

Also, his wife works at Starbucks AND owns some really cool glasses. Technically I've never met her but I've seen pictures... and, seriously, her frames alone, by default, automatically make anyone standing next to her dreamy.

*Officially my new favorite quote.

Who you calling poodle skirt?

Yesturday someone passed me in the hall at work and hollered "poodle skirt".

I responded with a "Thanks!" paused... and then declared out loud, "I'm taking that as a compliment!" over my shoulder.

Lesson? You take what you can get and move on.


More pink. I know. Don't even start with me.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Thursday I don't care about you

A while back Birdherder asked me how does one pronounce sprizee?

So I responded with the following:

spriz·ee (sprī zē)

Breaking out the character map on my keyboard in an attempt to convey the proper pronunciation of the word Sprizee has given me a headache, but further more I don't think this exercise has done much in the way of actually conveying to you how one pronounces sprizee.

Ummmm....take the first part of sprint and add it to the first part of zebra and you're pretty damn close. In other words, just like it looks. Since I made up the word I tried to spell it how I thought everyone should. I toyed with the idea of sprizy for a minute but I don't think I need to tell you that two e's is much cooler than just a y. So there you have it.

Thanks for asking.


So you may be thinking to yourself, the point of this story is "how does one pronounce Sprizee", but you'd be wrong, because clearly the point of this story is I am anything but succinct because I should have simply said, "ryhmes with dizzy".

Then it's decided. I am definitely not succinct.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Tuesday’s grey and wednesday too

5 things I did yesterday:

1. Played poker during my lunch with 4 other co-workers. Oh yea? Well, I’ll see your 5 paperclips and raise you 2 CDs. That’s right. I’m all in!

2. Watched in awe as the SprizeeCam™ cornered another victim. Hi Mark! Send me your email or I’ll never be able to get that gmail invite over to you. I said I was smart, not a mindreader.

3. Actually got some work done. At work. Emphasis on the some.

4. Drove up to Everett with some friends to see* The Cure. The company was good. The show, however, was a bore**. My friend and I ended up miming all the different ways we could kill ourselves during of one of the many encores and I use that term loosely because playing 3 songs and leaving the stage, only to return 20 seconds later and then do the same thing over and over and over again is 1) lame and 2) technically not an encore. I lost track of the number of "encores" after the 4th time they pulled that crap. Think of all the time that could have been saved if The Cure would have just stayed on stage and stopped pretending they were so great we wanted them to come back for more. No, the only thing we wanted was to hear that stupid Days Of The Week song, but NOOOooooo...they couldn’t just give us what we wanted. [sigh]

5. I should have made the list 4 things long. I’m all out.

*Sorry, no pictures. I didn't take my purse because when we drove by the venue they were frisking people so I figured no cameras and I also didn't want to risk having to walk back to the car if that was the case to drop off my camera.

Well, as it turns out cameras were allowed. Too bad I'm so lazy. Not because most of the pictures would have been that interesting but mostly because there were these two old drunk/high/who-knows-what-the-hell-they-were-on guys that were completely tripping out...we're talking pouring water on their heads, cementing sterotypes about white guys not having any rhythm freak show folks.

Oh and also I didn't get a picture of the guy sitting in front of me with pictures of fishing tackle all over his shirt. And I was worried about wearing a pink skirt to the concert. [ha!] Silly me.

**The sound was horrible. That's H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E. Yes, it was THAT BAD.