website statistics Sprizee :: A simple girl replete with complications: November 2004

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Case of the Mondays

1) I was suppose to wake up at 5:00am to be in downtown by 6:30am.

2) I must have flipped off my alarm in my sleep.

3) Apparently the Nyquil worked a little too well.

4) I actually woke up at 6:05am.

5) I took a shower, got dressed and was out the door by 6:20.

6) Somebody should give me award.

7) Of course I had to skip brushing my teeth*.

8) Today totally feels like a Monday.

9) I need some Starbucks...

10) ...and a nap.

*Reason number 14 why I keep a toothbrush in my desk drawer at work.

Random stuff I shouldn't necessarily be telling you.

When you google "awesome drunk phrases" my site comes up. Proof that I am not a liar.

I tried to fall asleep two hours ago. Two hours later I'm still awake even after I swallowed my last ounce of Nyquil, and I don't even have a cold.

Blogger is being a pain. It took me over two minutes to get into my account just now. TWO WHOLE MINUTES! Okay, I might be overdoing the annoyance a little bit because when you think about it that really isn't that long to wait, but still STILL.

If I don't fall asleep soon, tomorrow at work is going to be pure hell. Trust me, you don't want to run into me when I've had any less than eight solid hours of sleep. Some people can get by on less than eight. Some people have to take naps in their cars to compensate. Guess which category I fall into?

Monday, November 29, 2004

No pattern necessary.

Early on Thankgiving Day, before I made the trip over to Port Orchard to visit the folks, I randomly visited Loobylu and saw this. Seeing as a good way to distract myself from a) watching too much football and b) avoiding the commericialism that is The Macy's Day Parade, I latched on the the project like I latch onto any project I'm smitten with... I obsess about it for a while and then I get bored and lose interest. Only this time I didn't lose interest BEFORE I finished the project (a rare feat for me!).

I started out by sketching a basic pattern on paper. (Some people seemed to think my pattern looked like a stick with two mittens attached. Some people need glasses.) Then I ransacked my parent's basement and found a big stash of random fabric from projects that never were completed, felt and thread of every color. See? Pack rat tendencies can pay off... as long as I don't have to store the stuff. And isn't that what parent's houses are for anyways?

So I cut out the pattern I made up and starting stitching it together.

My parent's dog, Bear, supervised the whole process. That's a lie. He just layed on the floor in people's way and looked cute. That's okay because, admittedly, that's his thing but you'd think he could at least move when you're trying to open the fridge door and he's lying there in front of it. But no. Again, that's his thing. Don't be distracted by the cuteness because he's not moving no matter what you do or say, unless you've got some turkey in your hand. Let's just say he had his fill of turkey that night. Okay, moving on.

Before I was done with this project it was decided he should be named after the bottle of wine my mom picked up at Costco. That means his name is Fat Bastard because apparently there's a wine label called Fat Bastard and my mom is so cool that she bought the bottle based on the name alone. (And that's reason number 1,416 why my mom is cooler than yours.) Let's just say it one more time because it's so much fun... Fat Bastard. So I stitched on Thursday night and I stitched on Friday and by Friday evening I was done.


Details, people. It's all about the details. That's why Fat Bastard has a tail.


And I know what you're asking yourself and the anwser is yes. Yes, that is a Starbucks latte in his bag. There's a hat in there too but I was too lazy to put it on him when I took the photo.


I also found some random wire to put in his trunk so it's posable.

A Voilla! You know what this means, right? No, not that I'm a dork. I mean, yes, I am a dork, but not because I decided to make a elephant doll based on a random posting on a website. That's a reason why I'm odd.

It means I'm ready to quit my day job and start doing this full time. Now if only I could find someone else who's interested in opening up a bakery/gift shop I'd really have something. Any takers? Oh, and you should probably have lots of money too because lord knows small businesses need lots o' money.

Oh yes.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

The early bird catches the Saladshooter

But I wouldn't know because I'm not the type of person that awakes at the crack of dawn just to get in on some good deals like $10 sweaters or free stuffed animals or whatever other crappy promotions these departments stores use to get people to stand in line for hours on end just to buy a bunch of stuff that most likely will end up being returned after 12/25.

Normally, the day after Thanksgivings is a day in which I do nothing, unless you count making about 5 turkey sandwiches and stuffing my face with leftover mashed potatoes and gravy, and stuffing and cranberries and pumpkin pie. Unfortunetely, this year there was no left over pumpkin pie... dude, that is just plain wrong on so many different levels, I can't even begin to explain. But I digress.

Back to "There's only 29 days until Christmas Shopping Craze Day 2005". I had never, ever gone downtown the day after Thanksgiving, however this year I had this strange urge to witness the Seattle Tree Lighting Ceremony. As it turns out Wheelson and The Wife were also down from Bellingham and so for first time ever I made my way to downtown to witness the insanity that is shopping on the day AFTER. It actually wasn't all that crazy and I must admit I love all the lights and decorations.

We roamed in and out of a few stores: Banana Republic, J.Crew, Urban Outfitters and Diesel (at which, by the way, I found the cutest black sweater but I just couldn't justify handing over $145 bucks for something that was made exclusively from acrylic). Then The Wife had the brilliant idea to leave the shopping to the foolish and head for a bar instead. (Stacy! You, my friend, are brilliant!)

We ended up at Olivier's. They make a great martini, and I'm not the only one saying that. They won some international something-or-other award eight years in a row, and some Seattle awards (not just the crap CitySearch ones) and other stuff (I think).

Wheelson and The Wife

Here's Wheelson enjoying his Martini. Thing that should be noted about this picture include the following: 1) he's wearing pretty much the coolest men's shirt you'll ever see (be jealous, be very, very jealous) 2) it's his birthday today (Happy Birthday N!). I think that last one bears repeating... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WHEELSON!

Now let me just say this is not the point at which I'm going to write a top ten list about reasons why Wheelson is so great. I know why he's great, The Dude knows why he's great, The Wife knows why he's great... pretty much anyone that's ever come in contact with him knows why he's great. But I will say if you're ever so lucky to have him in your life be gratiful because he's one of the funniest, kindest, wittiest and most insightful people you will ever have the pleasure of interacting with. I'm not even going to mention what a great writer he is. Or I am?

So after we had a couple drinks at Oliver's we went our seperate ways because Wheelson and The Wife were meeting up with a friend at The Palace Kitchen and I had a date with the tree lighting.

Seattle Tree Lighting. That's right. Taken at the exact moment they lit the tree.

Then I had a date with a donut.

Top Pot Hand Forged Doughnuts

Man, I love the holidays.

The End.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Sideways Space

I few nights ago I saw the movie Sideways and while I wouldn't say it was life altering it was entertaining enough. Although I must admit I found myself disliking characters I think the director actually intended the audience to like but that's the interesting thing about movies. Each person, even the same person, watching the same movie at different points in their life will have a different reaction.

Life experience alters how each of us sees the world. Like when I saw Office Space when I was still in college I thought, "I don't get it. This is just plain dumb." Fast forward two years into the future, when I had worked at a dot com for over six months, and I couldn't get enough of that movie. It's still right up there at the top of my favorite movies of all times list.

Anyways, back to Sideways. At one point in the movie two of the main characters end up back at her apartment in the wee small hours of the morning. I remember watching this specific scene and it jogging something in my memory which, if pressed, I'd have to categorize as falling in love.

It reminded me of the anticipation of unknown possibilities, the thrill of the unexpected, when you're just starting to figure someone else out and exploring your place in their world. It reminded me how it feels to stay up all night talking to someone that you've just met because everything they have to share is new and exciting. It reminded me of the idea that there is no one else in the world quite as interesting as your guy.

I should back up here. I’m not saying I needed reminding. I’m saying that a portion of Sideways affected me like I think any good movie should. It made me feel things in relation to the characters and their life and my life and things that happened to them and things that happened to me.

It’s the same reason I like U2. Their songs make me feel things, and remind me of situations I’ve been in, or people, or places, or just plain inspire me. I guess I liked Sideways more than I initially thought. Come to think of it I saw it on a Monday after being at work all day. I’m pretty sure I can blame my initial hesitation to embrace Sideways squarely on the shoulders of a classic case of the Mondays.

At any rate, I better jet. My boss wants to talk with me about my TPS Reports, again. [sigh]

Turn it up Captain!

12 new songs.
1 DVD.
1 Book.

The Edge playing a banjo while Bono sings along?

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... Yeah.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I never said I was normal.

Yesterday while driving to work I got stuck behind a Toyota Celica with a license plate that read “HANZOFF”. Are you joking? Ummmmm, hellooo? IT’S A TOYOTA CELICA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Is that really necessary?

I went to see Sideways last night at The Neptune with HFH, J-Dog and Adriane. I know, I know…no link, what the hell right? Aa works at a law firm and doesn’t really have time for this blog craze.

This weekend I riffled through some of the miscellaneous junk I’ve been holding onto for too long. Thing that will be given-away-to-goodwill/trashed/sold-on-ebay include a 19' Sony Computer Monitor, clothes that haven't seen the light of day in 3 plus years and an authentic leather Coach PDA case given to me for Christmas two years ago by someone who apparently didn't know that I don't own a PDA.

Things that will be kept include this:

That is part of my costume from 3 years ago when I dressed up like a bumblebee, Wheelson’s wife dressed up as a flower and we passed out candy (to the only 3 kids that were brave enough to knock on the door of their house up on Capitol Hill). But wait, if you think the point of this story is that I'm pathetic for keeping this item you'd be wrong. Because while that's sad, it's not pathetic... but this is... after I found them, I ended up wearing them around my apartment for the rest of the day.

U2’s How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb is officially out today. So far, I have to say my favorite tracks* are "City of Blinding Lights" and "All Because Of You" (which will be the next single). *Clearly, this excludes Vertigo which is by far the best pop-py song on the album.

I haven’t had a chance to watch this video yet but that’s because a) work is totally crazy right now and b) my car decided to flip me the bird this morning. Long story short, she’s currently at the shop getting $900 worth of work done.

Rock n' Roll stops the traffic (again). And if you don't get that last reference, I guess you're not as much of a U2 fan as I thought you were.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Drunkitty drunk drunk


I guess I should have posted this over at YurDrunk but what do you expect? I didn't. I'm drunk. Deal with it.

U2 is on SNL and I made it home in time. Awesome!

Starting to sober up. Leaving now.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Good times, good times.

HFH and I went to dinner at some funky "world beat" place on Ravenna and then browsed around Third Place Books. I can't believe I haven't seen this girl since she dropped me off at the airport on October 10th when I flew to Amsterdam.

Shame on me. Shame, shame, shame.

But in my defense I did come over to her apt bearing gifts. A lush wool scarf from Italy and a copy of the new U2 album that technically won't be released until November 23rd...shhhhhh.

Word/Phrases I could stand to lose:

Except not.
Or am I?

Had I written this list 6 months ago it would have included: Rockstar.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Things accomplished at work thus far:

Scanned some photos of coworker's dad as a personal favor (for his obituary).

Established that no one I know owns a copy of The Davinci Code (although I'm pretty sure I'm the only person left on this planet that hasn't read it yet).

Flirted with disaster talking about Hans Blix.

Stuffed bags and bags full of candy for a company function.

Ate candy that should have just been stuffed in bags for a company function.

Talked to a person who works at Starbucks Corporate. I could tell you why but then I'd have to kill you.

Talked to my dad on the phone.

Went out to lunch with my officemate.

Wrote some emails.

Finished up a PPT.

Made a half-assed checklist of all the things left to do before Saturday.

P.S. Got a flat tire on the way into work this morning. Super! Except not. And how did I find out? Some hot guy in an Audi pulled up next to me and started making all kinds of hand motions. I was so out of it that I didn't even bother to thank him because I had already moved to the "oh fuck! just what I need" stage of things and was trying to figure out my next move. So, hot guy, if you're out there... thanks.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

A New Post

Someone hounded me for the better part of the day* earlier today asking for a new post and... well, if you know anything about me you know that I easily succumb to peer pressure so if a new post is what you want, than a new post is what you get. This may get pret-tty random. Prepare yourself.

*It might have just been a couple minutes, whatever.

Today there will be no self editing and reading and re-reading and correcting and manipulating and fixing until it's just right because today I've been at work for going on 11 hours, that's right 11 hours, so excuse me if I don't feel like using my brain for thinking but I may just be a bit cranky and a tad tired. Consider yourself warned.

Earlier today I was working on creating name cards for an upcoming company function that I'm organzing and this involved color coding the cards with stickers. I know, I know, I have all the fun at work. Anyways, my point is three hours later I found a sticker in my hair. How cool is that? Yea, not so much. File that one under reasons I'm a dork.

I was all about getting stuff done today, mostly because all my stuff is on deadline. Enter my coworkers who once again talked me into going out to lunch. In a big pack. Getting seating for 7 people at noon in Bellevue isn't the easiest thing to do without reservations, so we ended up at CoCo's. Classy, huh?

Anyways, it's always nice to get out of the office and have a bitch session. Or not. Whatever. Either way it's good to get out of the office and realize that the people you work with (contrary to your internal dialouge) are not all f'ing morons, okay a few maybe, but most are just swamped with other random crap and too busy to response to your requests for silly things like a strategic visions, job descriptions, things you will be held responsible and fixing your broken computer. There's more in this world than just me? Huh? I've gotta tell you, that's a new one.

So I get back to the office and someone randomly IMs me, and c'mon, I mean REALLY, who can resist the lure of the random IM? And then my friend James who I haven't talked to in a couple months randomly calls me, and he's down in California (the boy lives in Seattle) and he just wanted to say hi and catch up, and I love JT but fuck if I haven't been able to get much of my work done but whatever I want to catch up so I end up talking to him for over 20 minutes at which point I tell him I have to go. So anyways 5 hours later and I'm still trying to multi-task like 5 projects and keep on top of my email before it buries me alive and here I am and it's past 8 o'clock and I'm still in the office.

I'm still at the office. Leaving soon though, I think... probably.

And on a completely unrelated note, I will now tell you the story of the cheesiest pick up line ever used on me. First, some background. I had this friend named Bob. In the summer of 1998 Bob (who attended WWU with me) went down to Portland for some medical internship or something just as uninteresting. Anyways, so we had kept in touch via email and the phone (I think). He invited me down to visit him, and (now this part is important)... we were just friends and I was not attracted to him in any way, shape or form, so I said sure.

And I went down and visited him and spent the whole weekend down there and we just hung out and watched movies and went out to dinner and other boring stuff. Then on Sunday we're sitting on the couch, drinking memosas (okay, I guess I should have gotten a clue when he was shoving alcohol into my mouth before noon but I didn't because I've always had guy friends, like Jamey, that were JUST FRIENDS) and he says, "Let's play a game". And I'm bored and there's nothing on TV so I say, "Okay."

Bob: "One person names a movie and then the other person acts it out. Get it?"
Me: "I think so."
Bob: "Okay, I'll go first."
Me: innocent, innocent me, unaware that Bob is about to go in for the kill "Ummm, okay."

And at this point I am realizing I'm going to have to use my real name or you're not going to get this, so here goes, my name is Kate. Okay? Still following? Good.

Bob: "Kiss me Kate."
Kate: blink. blink. deer in the headlights stare. "I'm leaving."
Bob: "Kiss me."

To which I replied, "ummmm I think I need to get something out of my car. I'm leaving. Later." Seriously, poor Bob. Did you just say that to me? I should have just said I don't like you like THAT Bob. I'm sure he was mature enough to handle the rejection but I wasn't so I ran out of there and took off. Actually I drove directly to the mall and bought a bunch of clothes but hellllo? There's no sales tax in Oregon. Anyways, if you're out there Bob I'm sorry...and no, I still don't like you like that.

Happy Birthday Toddsa!

Last Friday my friends and I went out to The Palace Kitchen and while we certainly don't need a reason to frequent this place, this night we were making a point to celebrate the birthday of our friend, Todd.

Todd's a great guy. I could list all the reason why he's great but at the moment none of them come to mind. On second thought maybe he's not that great. No kidding, kidding. I'm kidding Todd. Todd? Stop crying. Geez... anyways, where was I? Oh yes, reasons why Todd is great:

1) He's got a great girlfriend that's fun to chat it up with.

2) He knows the importance of a well balanced meal. And by "well balanced" I mean he understands that sometimes eating dessert first is not only acceptable but required.

3) If someone starts giving you crap at a bar, he might just grab that person by the neck and slam them up against the wall... only if he has to, which apparently at least one time he had to... so basically he makes a great personal body guard. Neat, huh?

4) He'll take you camping and pretend like he knows where he's going when clearly he doesn't and get you really lost. Oh wait, that's not so great... anyways, it was still a fun trip so I'm counting it.

5) He'll randomly IM you about random things at randoms times during the day. Who can resist the lure of the random IM? Not me, no sir.

So to Toddsa, I raise my glass and say, "Here's to those that wish you well... and those that don't... can go to hell", or something just as klassy... cheers!

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Damn you Nordstrom!

This weekend going through my mail I noticed a couple catalogs, one of them being Nordstrom's. I'm not a big fan of the Nordstrom catalog mostly because I don't fall into their target demographic aka "I'm not a 40-65 year wealthy white woman" but still, still... I do love me some shopping so I started thumbing through the catalog.

Not 3 pages into the catalog, I ran across this picture.

This is the same sweater that The Dude bought for me at my favorite Fremont boutique, Dream. I had dragged him and Rachel into the store one Friday night on our way to meet up with some friends for dinner. After I showed him the sweater (and after he peeled himself off the floor after looking at the price tag), we went on our merry way and that was that. A week later when I was having a bad day, he suprised me with the sweater.

The thing that's so great about shopping at a boutique is you rarely run into what I like to refer to as "Gap/BR/JCrew Syndrome". The symptoms of this syndrome mostly involve running into people everywhere with the exact same outfit as you. So I have to say I'm pretty pissed at Nordstrom's for buying up large quantities of my pretty in pink boutique sweater of a find and pimping it to the masses. To add insult to injury the price over at Nordstrom's is significantly lower than the price The Dude paid at Dream.

Super. Except not.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Pass it on

Looks like Smurphy got the care package I sent her. Awesome.

Hey InternetS? Where’s my free stuff? Kidding, kidding*.

*Unless you're serious... and if that's the case, come at me. Bring on the JCrew gift cards, Banana Republic cashmere sweaters, Starbucks beverages... and so on and so forth.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Hello, Hello.

I'm in a place called Vertigo.

Just got back from Tower Records in downtown. I ran out to get the Vertigo single. As it turns out they had two different versions. I couldn't decide which one to get.

So I got both.

On a completely unrelated note, I have to say I was pretty drunk last night. Three cosmopolitians and unknown amounts of red wine may be to blame. Then there was the sip of moonshine that Seth handed me over at Danny's. At least one of those, maybe more pushed me over the top. How far? This far.

"Happy Happiness" or "Man, I couldn't be anymore drunk than I already am...or could I?"

So if you had the misfortune of interacting with my drunk ass last night and I said something that didn't make any sense or starting screeching in your ear for no particular reason or emailed you something crazy or anything else I can't remember, I apologize. I seem to recall talking to Seth's girlfriend Carrie quite a bit. I hope I didn't scare her with my stupid drunken antics because she seems really cool (Hi Carrie!). And of course Rachel too.

Saying I don't handle my liquor well would be the understatement of the year.

You (too) don't have to wait forever.

Once again I must profess my love for the InternetS. You can listen to U2's Vertigo b-side "Are you gonna wait forever?" here. I also ran across this and this. A couple acoustic songs played during the Apple iPod announcement. Amen.

And what the hell? Since I'm at it go here. Bono's briefcase was finally found and returned. Pretty incredible.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Working for The Man at The Company

...can make a person admit some strange things.

So a couple days ago I mentioned that a former coworker was back in town for a couple of days and I was hoping to meet up with him after work. Thing is, fate has a funny way of quickly rearranging priorities. As it turns out the same day that I was suppose to meet up with Jesse, he got a call from his sister. His grandmother who lives on the other side of the state had a heart attack so had to adjust his schedule. Luckily he was able to see her and it sounds like she’s in stable condition for now. So I didn’t get to catch with him. Oh well. He’s got a plausible excuse of course, never the less I’m disappointed.

Driving home from the gym last night after being at work for over 11 hours I started thinking about Jesse and some of the crazy antics that use to go on at our office when we worked together back in the day. Nothing particularly exciting, just the typical “Office Space” type managers, disgruntled workers, and happy-go-lucky-idiots who wouldn’t be able to distinguish a great job from their current lot in life. I’m talking text book type Office Space scenarios. At times I wondered if management was confusing “Best Practices for Managers” pamphlets with the Office Space screenplay. My point is as I was thinking about some of the things that occurred at that office I remembered this story that Jesse had relayed to me about another one of our coworkers. Let’s call him Josh, because…well, that’s his name.

So Jesse said once he was in a meeting with his manager and Josh, along with the rest of his group (probably about 7 people in total). In these weekly meetings people would discuss what happened that week, new policies, etc. I should probably also mention that normally these meetings quickly turned into bitch sessions where the disgruntled in the bunch would start letting it all hang out and the managers would have to move to the defense of the company and their lame ass policies…lots of damage control.

So in this weekly meeting the manager posed a question and then everyone went around the room and gave their response. The question was as follows, “How do you handle stress and is there anything that you do to relieve it?” Jesse didn’t bother relaying the responses of any of his coworkers to me, except for Josh. That’s because Josh’s response was, “I spank my monkey.” I’m sure the typical person would read this an assume that Josh was just being, you know, ha ha funny but let me assure you that Jesse made it very clear that the way Josh announced it so matter of fact left no doubt that he was completely serious. Jesse said after the fact Josh tried to play it off like he was just joking but no one was buying.

Poor Josh. Or not. Whatever. I never really liked the guy anyways.

Sometimes I think about The Company and the people I used to work with and, well, I'm not going to lie to you, it makes me really happy I never have to go back to that place again. But every once in a while I think about The Company and remember funny things that happened to me or some of the cool people I met there and I have to say I wouldn't change a thing. I learned a lot from my time at The Company.

And today is a day I'm remembering it fondly.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Who's down with FBC?

Yeah, you know me.

Today I want to give the whole world a hug. I have renounced my “stress monkey”* ways and am taking things one at a time. This morning started off stressful in anticipation of a big meeting with some clients but that went off without a hitch.

Enter the afternoon where I was in such a state that I offered to pick up lunch for my coworkers so we could play another round of poker. On the way there I heard my favorite Travis song, “Writing to Reach You”. Then Keane played at Quizno’s. It doesn’t matter which song because every Keane song is my favorite Keane song. (Okay, it was “Somewhere Only We Know”).

I should also mention the really nice cashier at Q neglected to charge me for one of the sandwiches I purchased for a coworker. Had I have caught the error I would have told him but I didn’t realize until way after the fact when my coworker tried to settle up with me and I checked the bill. Lucky her…free sandwich. (Remember this part because it will come in handy on down the line).

So anyways, on the way back from Q’s I heard U2’s “Vertigo”. I should probably also mention that on my way back a car almost t-boned me and I had to lay on the horn to get the oblivious wench out of my way while I tried to avoid a near collision by slamming on my brakes but mentioning that may lead you to belief that I’m not in the best of moods. Don’t be confused. Today I’m one happy camper.

So I played poker with my coworkers and I lost but I don’t care. There’s always next week. And then my office mate, the one who lucked out on getting the free sandwich, decided she needed a hit from Starbucks to prevent her from napping under her desk and so she left and came back...and she suprised me with a mocha frapaccino – the most wonderful guilty-pleasure-chocolatey-coffee-whippedcreamed-delightful drink in like the whole entire world. So I mean, really, a free FBC? What’s not to like about today?

I should probably also mentioned that I’m severely hopped up on caffeine and feel like I need to do about twenty laps around the office.

My judgment may be just slightly impaired due to the frap.

Just so you know.

*This first time I heard this term was at my last job when one of my coworkers told me to “stop being such a stress monkey”. I’m pretty sure that’s the best advice I’ve ever been given. No job is worth stressing out about, unless maybe if you’re in charge of nuclear weapons and/or the destruction of the planet earth as we now know it. W? Put down that golf club and try to pay attention. Sometimes the stress monkey routine is required.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Very quickly.

Today has been one crazy day. I could use about 20 assistants to help me complete all thing/items/random-crap-that-apparently-i'm-responsible-for on my task list in the next 24 hours. If anyone has some expertise in say, oh I don’t know…the process of applying for a trademark… or advice on how to keep your sanity when working for the insane, come at me.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Top 10 reasons Murphy and I can’t possibly be the same person

1) I don’t know crap about St. Louis or Indianapolis.

2) Two blogs? I don’t have that much free time on my hands.

3) There is no three. There’s never a three.

4) My friends named Stacy don’t spell their name Stacey (because I only associate with people that realize there’s no need for the extra “e”, no offense Murph).

5) I’ve never met Birdherder. Heck, I’ve only seen his feet.

6) I would rather pour acid down my throat than be forced to work for the government… unless that day is a federal holiday and if that’s the case, bring on the acid. I’ll do anything for a day off.

7) Most days Murphy starts posting at 6AM PST. Most days I’m still asleep until at least 8AM PST.

8) Murphy can spell. I can’t.

9) I can’t think of anything else to list. If I was Murphy my brain would be stocked full of more things to say. Clearly, I’m not Murphy.

and…drum roll please…

10) Let’s face it. I’m just not that bitingly witty, funny and/or cool.

Or am I?

I was going to title this...

..."why I’ll never be a rocket scientist" but "I'm cheap" would also work.

So last night I talked to a former coworker. Less than a year ago he packed up his then pregnant wife and twin toddler boys and moved all the way across the country to Atlanta, GA. That takes a lot of courage to make such a big move with your family in tow. He called me because he’s in town for a few days on business and as soon as I found out he was in town I started hassling him to get together so we could catch up.

Anyways, so he called me last night on my cell but I missed his call. I called him back an hour later on my cell and we chatted it up for a good 20 minutes. It was really good to talk with him however it wasn’t until about midnight that I realized I had called him using my cell which meant for all intensive purposes I had called GA long distance (even though he was just a few miles down the road at some restaurant in West Seattle). Long distance isn’t included in my cell plan, so basically what I’m saying is unannounced to me last night Sprint had her way with me. Super. Can’t wait to see the bill. (In case you can’t tell that’s sarcasm in my voice.)

And that is why I’ll never be a rocket scientist.

Hopefully work won't be too crazy and I'll be able to make it out tonight to The Garage to see my friend. Ce soir? Amusons-nous comme des fous!

Oh, and also there are some people in this world who are very confused and under the false impression that I am Murphy. I'm not. I swear.

Or am I?

Monday, November 08, 2004

What I learned today

How to be an asshat.

Change your name to Egan.

IM your friend but tell them you’re another friend.

Wait until they buy it hook, line and sinker.

Role play for the next 20 minutes and/or until they grow wise to your tricks.

Get caught.

Apologize but don’t really mean it.

That's it. End of lesson.

Okay folks. I'm outta here. Heading to the gym. Bye.

There is god...

...and he goes by the name of Deron.

So my friend Deron just notified me about this and asked me if I was going.

At first I was all "no way" but then I saw Franz (and I was all, "maybe? [pause] nah.")... and then I saw The Killers (and I was all, "hmmmm.")... and then I saw Keane (and I was all, "I love Deron.")

Keane live is amazing as I may have mentioned already here and here and here. I can't wait.

Reasons I hate today

1) It's Monday.

2) There's a training at the office. That basically means there's all this food in the kitchen which is off limits.

3) I don't know what the Mot du Jour is yet.

4) I can't think of anything else to write.

And in other news, here are some photos from the weekend trip to Bellingham.

Western Washington University

One of the many sculptures on campus

In the classroom

Communication Department Board

The computer lab was never this nice when I attended

Old Main Path

WWU Memory Walk (okay that may not be the actually name of it but I'm sure it's something lame like that)

SprizeeCam™ featuring the year I graduated

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Cough on

I just woke at Wheelson central. That’s because yesterday a great turkey feast was had by all… okay, just four people. Wheelson took care of everything. Turkey? Check. Stuffing? Check. Mashed potatoes? Check. Cranberries? Check. Rolls? Check.

Anyways, here’s my point. The dude and I were only responsible for one key element. The pumpkin pie… but it turned out horrible. Me, in my enthusiasm to just sit down already at the great turkey feast Wheelson had prepared, pulled the pie out of the oven before it’s time and boy did it show later that night when we went to chow down on the dessert.

Seriously, Wheelson’s talents in the culinary arts are being lost in his current job. Big time. My culinary talents on the other hand, not so much. Soggy crust, not quite set pumpkin custard and a just plain “not done yet” taste. I blame jet lag and W for the oven fiasco and my poor judgment.

Moving on.

I’ve still got a wicked cough from the cold I caught in Paris. Yesturday in an attempt to get me to stop “all that annoying God damn coughing already”* Wheelson gave me this Sea Coconut beverage/tea/syrup/liquid-I-think-may-not-be-suitable-for-small-children-or-pregnant-women and I have to say I actually thought it tasted pretty decent, although it didn’t do much to stop the coughing. At this point, only death would be able to stop this cough.

Signing out,
All the charm of in person Sprizee without the annoying cough.

*Wheelson didn’t say that. That’s a little internal dialogue I’ve been having with myself for the past week plus.

Friday, November 05, 2004

Egan teaches French Version 1.0

After spending 3 weeks in Europe I decided although almost everyone I ran into did indeed speak English that it might be nice to try and learn some of the native tongues of my hosts. So I made this little pact with myself. Self I said... hold up, hold up. This post is rapidly turning into boringsville. What I'm trying to say is...

Introducing French Word of the Day

You never know when this might come in handy, like oh I don't know... and keep in mind I'm just thinking out loud here... oh let's say... if you decide to move to France or Canada. Or meet some hot guy/gal that only speaks French. Or whatever.

Hey, I'm not here to justify why you need to learn French but trust me it's one of the coolest sounding languages around. That alone is reason enough to start learning it.

Anyways, that's my reason.

P.S. I've been meaning to write my love letter to Paris. I was only there 3 days but I tell you this... that town kicks all kinds of ass. Remind me to do that some day.

ProClub vs. The Red Door

I got into the office early today. I've been getting to the office early all week (thanks jet lag!). This jet lag does have one thing going for it though. I don’t have to wake up to an annoying alarm. Waking up at 5AM does have some advantages, but being able to stay up past 9PM is NOT one of them.

Anywho, since it's Friday there are donuts in the kitchen. I don’t know what I’d do without my Friday donut. It just wouldn’t be Friday without a sugary breakfast stomach weight to start things off right. Thing is, I haven’t been to the gym since I got back from my trip so despite the fact that I normally avoid the gym on Friday I was thinking I should definitely go tonight, you know to counterbalance the Friday donut.

But then I got an email from a friend with the following subject line, "You will drink and you will like it". Now who am I to argue with that kind of logic?

P.S. I tried to post a couple pictures but hello wasn't having any of it. Hello? Stop being so temperamental! It's starting to get really annoying. We're talking "W getting elected for a 2nd term despite all of his fuck up's" annoying.

EFo has yet to update his blog. This is going to be a very long day.

Thursday, November 04, 2004


Remember Mr. Dreamy?

Introducing reason #11. Make a note of it.

"I am a man in Seattle. Slighty disgruntled, but oh so fun to have in your life."

I can vouch for that one. Indeed, he does live in Seattle. Kidding, kidding. He's funny too.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Mandate (except not)

Here’s what makes me cringe about the election yesterday. It’s not the fact the Kerry most likely has lost. It’s the fact that half of America thinks what W and his administration have done is acceptable. Even if Kerry wins by a small minority, it still sends a pretty crappy message to the rest of the world. It say, “50% of Americans think W is doing a good job”. And here’s my little theory or at least how I’d feel if I lived outside the States and was looking in judging Americans.

I believe most of the world disagrees with W and his administration and despite the fact that we voted him in office in 2000 (okay, that’s questionable but whatever, let’s assume he legitimately arrived at 1600) most of the world can differentiate between what W thinks is an okie dokie acceptable international US affairs policy and what the rest of American thinks about him and his dumb ass agenda. But if I lived outside the States I would now starting merging my opinion of ordinary Americans together what I thought about W. I mean, half of American voted for the smug bastard again, despite all his fuck ups.

I was waiting for America to send a clear message to the world that we don’t think what W is doing is right, safe or acceptable. I was waiting for Kerry to win by a large majority despite all the polls telling me otherwise. I was waiting for us to stand united against an idiot from Texas that is clearly a threat to a woman’s personal rights, in favor of dicking around with the constitution just to legislate his own personal religious beliefs, not opposed to lying to start wars unnecessarily and toying with the fragility world peace.

I live among ignorance and idiots; my apologies to the world. Some of us within the States really do realize there is something more beyond our borders, beyond just us. We’re not all as self involved as the majority that voted for Bush. Some mandate. I’m not even going to mention how the Republicans have control of both houses as well. What the hell? That makes W all the more frightening. So long hope for at least a balance of power. Nice dreaming about you.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those kids that thinks the sky and falling and it’s time to head for the hills. Just disappointed W is going to get 4 more years to royally fuck things up. I wonder how long it will take for us to repair all the damage caused by him and his administration. I wonder if he’ll start any more wars unnecessarily. I hope not… but as you and I both know, hope is not a strategy.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Somewhere in Texas a village is missing it's idiot

I just read the following over the AP Wire...Due to high voter turnout Democrats vote today, Republican vote tomorrow.

I'm here to inform people.

Let the election day madness commence.

Monday, November 01, 2004


As in "in a".

It's only mid-afternoon but it's so freaking dark outside I makes me want to cry. Too depressed to write anything else.

In other news, I've posted a few photos of the Europe escapades over here. Don't ask me why I didn't just post there right here. I guess I just like to make things complicated. If you start from the bottom up, they are in order. If you start from the top, not so much.

I hate Jet Lag

It's only 5:55AM and I've already accomplished the following feats: watched the last 20 minutes of Top Gun (mostly because it was the only thing on TV at 4 in the morning that wasn't an infomercial... so not true... I would have watched an informercial instead but there wasn't one on... just commercials for chat lines and car loans and PSAs about not drinking around your kids), made a pumpkin pie from scratch and put it in the oven, coughed up at least one of my lungs - maybe both (thanks cold!), ate some cinnamon toast, put some laundry away and [shudder] dreaded the idea of having to drive into work today.

If ever there was a day I needed a "get out of jail free card" that day is today.

7AM update:

8.30AM update: I'm sitting here with dread not wanting to go to work. I should just leave already. I mean, I'm all dressed. I even packed a lunch which I've probably only done about three other times in my life. I have no excuses left... other than I don't wanna go. Procrastinating and dreading is a bad combination. Leaving now... I think. :(